Cooper vs The Boyfriend

My boyfriend is the Cooper to my Shelly. See? Isn’t the similarity just astonishing?

Leg warmer and cellphone holder

Shelly makes an excellent leg warmer and cellphone holder.

Laugh, it’s good for your health

A while back I wrote a post on what I did when I was bored, and I featured 3 funny websites that I visited to pass time. It’s been almost 2 years since that post, and while I do still visit those sites from time to time, I’ve found funnier sites since then:

Damn You Autocorrect

Apparently the autocorrect feature on iPhone often has a mind of its own, and this site features hilarious autocorrects that people have encountered. Some of them are pretty brilliant, and I give props to Steve Jobs for this feature I’m tempted to switch to using an iPhone just to see what it’ll autocorrect.

A: How do I take a screenshit on my Mac?
B: Balance and toilet paper?
A: Hahaha, SCREENSHOT!

A: I can’t wait for Halloween! I’m so going to bedazzle your vagina
B: What…the hell?
A: BE VEGETA! Vegeta from Dragonball Z!!

Yahoo… Answers?

Yahoo answers can be pretty useful to finding answers to random questions, but every once in a while you’ll get some moron asking moronic questions with smartasses providing the answers. This blog/tumblr provides the best of these stupid Yahoo questions asked, and you’d be amazed (and amused) at what you see:

Q: What’s a person from London called?
A: My neighbor is from London and he’s called Rob¹

Q: Has Harry Potter written any other books?
A1: Yes, it’s the one where Zelda saves a princess²
A2: Him and Frodo are tag teaming to write the next sparkly vampire romance³
A3: I’m embarrassed to be in your internet presence⁴

The Oatmeal

I wish there was a new comic here everyday, because they’re seriously laugh-your-ass-off hilarious, given that you share the same sense of humor. But even if you don’t, the comics are still pretty funny, and often times there’s a lot of truth in them:

You'll love his comics if you appreciate obscene and honest humour.

Dear Blank, Please Blank

These are pretty straightforward, and I feel like I would only confuse you more if I tried to explain it.

Dear Martin Luther King Jr.,
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream… What now?⁵
Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio

Dear Cedric Diggory,
Vampires don’t sparkle. 20 points from Hufflepuff!
Sincerely, Snape

Have you ever visited any of these sites? If so, do you have a favorite? Is there a particular comic/text/yahoo answer that you like from these sites?

Some of my favorite words

Do you have strange random words you find yourself using all the time, to the point where people actually recognize you for using those words and start using them too? I was talking to Rachel online¹, and we decided to compile a list of my favorite, aka trademark, words. I came up with the following:

• obscene

  Ok, this I actually stole from my boyfriend, who uses this word obscenely often, so much that I use it now, and so do my friends. We tend to use this word very loosely, so it can describe anything from the lyrics to Mmm, Whatcha Say to Lin Yu Chun’s singing skills to the idiot population online (ex: the obscene girl who stole my layout and gave me beef about it over Twitter).

• scandalous

  I love this word, and I love activities that can be described with this word. As a matter of fact, my friend Karen and I compiled a list of scandalous activities for the summer, including, but not limited to: strip clubs², getting tattooed³, and being obscene at a karaoke bar⁴.

• fruit, fruity

  This is how the words would be used: I would call a guy a fruit because he has a fruity smile. Believe it or not, that’s actually my nickname for this obscene guy that keeps trying to holler at me and my friends. As for what fruity implies…well, I’ll let you guys figure it out. Hint: It probably means whatever you think it means when you think of the word “fruity”.

• banish

  I got this one from this Mac vs PC ad, and for a couple weeks Rachel and I were banishing guys left and right for being lame, assholes, stupid or a combination of the above. So if you are any of those 3 things, I also banish you. You are banished.

• squat

  I got this from Rachel, but it just sounded so funny I started saying it left and right. Usually she’d use it in the phrase “I don’t give a squat”, but I just use the word as an insult. So for example, I’d call people a squat, squatface, assquat, squatfruit, or any random combination I come up with. I mean seriously, what kind of comeback can you say if I called you a squatface⁵? It’s brilliant!

That is my list for now, it’s rather short, but it’s not everyday I come by a word that I love. Do you have random words you use often? I’d love to know what they are!

Welcome new baby, adios sex

No, I’m not pregnant, or at least I don’t think so, though I did have a sudden appetite increase and am now eating like a mother expecting twins

Back on topic. I found¹ this site selling these fabulously quirky greeting cards, and I just had to share it with you guys. The site is called FoxyBlunt, and currently they sell a small selection of cards for various events: birthdays, get well soon, and of course, baby showers. Graphic/design wise, the cards look anything but crude/casual. As a matter of fact, if you don’t pay attention to the subtitles of each card, you’d think they’re just like any regular Hallmark greetings. Of course, it’s those subtitles that make these cards so awesome These cards kind of remind me of the egreetings from SomeEcards, which I also find hilarious. Anyways, here are some of my favorites:

They also have a selection of some beautiful + equally cheeky wallpapers for download on their site. My current one says “Imagination…is the key to denial“. On a housekeeping note, I promise I will start returning comments soon. These past weeks have not been kind to me