Burned out: restoring balance and finding joy in everyday life
Written By Jenny Wu on
It happens to the best of us, where we feel like we’ve lost our energy and our motivation to keep going. We’re exhausted, frustrated, and just want to curl up in bed in hopes that all this bad juju will go away.
No matter what the cause of the burn out is, I’ve found that the common denominator is a lack of balance in life. Life will give us lemons, but it’s our job to make sure we always have sugar & water ready to make some lemonade. Here are a few ways I’ve found to bring a little more sugar (i.e. joy) in my life:
Spruce up your space
Our environment can have a significant impact on our mental state. Imagine being confined in a dingy, dark, dirty room all the time – not a happy thought right? That’s why it’s important that we keep our space, whether it’s our home or office, clean, bright, and organized.
Natural light always energizes me so I like to use sheers as window treatments to let as much light in as possible. I also love white furniture, and luckily IKEA has no shortage of great modular pieces to accessorize any room in your home. For unique and cheap décor pieces, try thrift stores or flea markets. Target & HomeGoods also have some really affordable and beautiful items, and are my two favorite stores to shop at!
Distance yourself from the Negative Nancies
You know, those people that are always complaining about something: the weather, their job, their neighbors, their neighbor’s cat, the list never ends. Spend some time with these people and you’ll feel emotionally drained…like they just sucked the sunshine and happiness out of you. Who’s got time for that?
Instead, surround yourself with genuine people who will encourage you and lift you up. Keyword is genuine because there are too many fake people out there who will smile to your face while stabbing you in the back. The best way to deal with these negative people is to just smile and ignore them. Confronting them rarely accomplishes anything, and honestly will just stress you out even more. #beentheredonethat
Unplug from social media
While I do think a lot of the stress social media are self-inflicted (Emily has an excellent post on this), it’s still stress nonetheless. Take a break from it to spend time with friends, family, or just doing other things you love. Sometimes it takes stepping away from social media to realize that you are worth so much there’s more to life than just the numbers on your account. Not to mention, having your eyes glued to the phone 24/7 is terrible for your eyesight.
Read more: 5 (life) lessons I learned from social media
Develop a ritual
Not the candle-lighting-spell-chanting kind, though if that’s what helps you relax, then go for it! But for the rest of us, this is about building positive habits with a purpose – in this case, to destress and bring joy.
Did you know that great artists throughout history all had rituals? Whether it’s writing naked every morning (thanks for the image Benjamin Franklin) or brewing the perfect coffee with exactly 60 beans (who knew Beethoven had OCD?), having a ritual can reinvigorate us and give us the positive energy we need for the day.
Not to be predictable, my ritual is my skincare routine. For me there’s just something very therapeutic and relaxing about massaging products into my face, but I know that’s not for everyone.
So think about simple activities always lifts up your mood – it could be reading, yoga, cooking, or simply taking long walks – and then think about how you can elevate those activities. Maybe transform a corner of your home into a reading nook, complete with a cozy blanket, scented candles, and your favorite beverage ready when you start reading. Or cook a new dish once a week and invite your closest friends & family for the meal. Find what you love, kick it up a notch, and transform it from something mundane into a ritual you can look forward to.
Practice gratitude
No matter our situation in life, we always have something to be thankful for. By counting our blessings – no matter how big or small – everyday, it changes our perspective and suddenly the complaints we had seem so petty and insignificant.
For me I like jotting down my gratitudes in my planner as they happen. It could be something as small as “XYZ left a really heartfelt comment on my blog!” to “Cooper was extra cuddly!“, but it just shows that there are so many little moments in life that bring smiles to our faces, but we can easily miss them if we’re always focused on the negative.
Not a paper planner or journal kind of gal? There are also a ton of apps you can download on your phone to help you practice gratitude. Here are my favorites:
Explore your spiritual side
This last one isn’t for everyone, but for those of you who often feel lost and without a purpose, believing in a greater power can provide reassurance during tough times and hope that things will get better. I can’t speak for other religions, but I know that as a Christian, prayer and faith has gotten me through more tough situations than I can remember, Cooper’s illness being the most recent case.
Now I don’t believe in shoving the bible or any religion down people’s throats, so you’ll never find me yelling “REPENT AND BELIEVE!!” on the blog (I honestly find that so tacky…like are you trying to turn people away??). I can tell you from personal experience that my faith has transformed my life for the better, but in the end it’s a decision we need to make on our own. Some people get by life perfectly fine without believing in anything, while others have felt lost until they found their spiritual side. It never hurts to keep an open mind though :)
I hope this post was helpful, and if you’ve been feeling burned out, I hope you’ll balance and happiness in your life again soon. Let me know what you do to add joy to your every day lives in the comments below, I always love hearing from you guys! <3
Passionate about science-based skincare. Tested hundreds if not thousands of products since my 20's. Working regularly with brands like iHerb, Ulta, CurrentBody, and MedStar Health to share my knowledge and experience in all things beauty. Learn more.
Skin profile: 35+, dry/combination, focused on well-aging, hydration, and a healthy glow ✨
Comments & Questions
Samantha
A ritual is a must for me. Don't get me wrong, sprucing up my space is super helpful especially when my brain is feeling cluttered and overwhelmed, but rituals center me again, even if those rituals include Netflix and are more effective when it's cold outside. To each our own, right?
Sam / My Beauty Cloud
Jenny Wu
Yep, totally agree! Netflix and snacks is another one of my rituals as well, especially on cold rainy days! It's extra therapeutic if my cats decide to cuddle with me while I'm at it! :D
Hannah
I love this post. I tend to be a naturally messy person but since getting married 5 months ago and moving into a smaller apartment, I've been making an effort to be cleaner and more organized. I've been more into decorating our place because I've lived at home my whole life. I agree with being thankful everyday for your blessing. Glad to see another sister in Christ in the blogosphere <3
Hannah
Floraful
Jenny Wu
Aw thank you so much Hannah, so glad to hear that! I do think it's easier being messy in a larger house just because there's more room to hoard things...I feel like my husband and I have gotten messier since moving to our bigger house, though I do try to make an effort to tidy up whenever I can! I didn't know you were a Christian too, that's so exciting! <3
Sofia
Ohmygod the cat is sooooooo cute :DD
xx Sofia | SOFIAADOT
Jenny Wu
Thank you Sofia!
Amy
Your space is so beautiful and light, I love it! I think these points are so important, it's really easy to get burned out and feel frustrated. I know that unplugging from social media every once in a while can be vital. I also find making sure my surroundings are tidy helps a lot, clutter makes me feel on edge! Cooper is so cute, i'm so glad he's doing well!
Amy - https://amyevans.co.uk
Jenny Wu
Thanks so much Amy! I'm really lucky that my office gets lots of natural light so it's great for energizing me in the mornings! I'm constantly trying to keep my space clutter free as well, though it doesn't help that my husband seems to be the king of clutter!
Shivangi
Such a lovely post Jenny! I so had to read this! <3 Thanks for sharing about the 365 Gratitude Journal! And I totally agree with you about social media being stressful! Have a nice day!
xx
Shivangi
www.outoncatwalk.com
Jenny Wu
Thank you so much Shivangi, so glad you enjoyed the post! Hope you have a wonderful day as well!
Kevin
Burnout isn't something that's discussed often, great post Jenny!
On the topic of natural lighting, I recall reading somewhere that office workers that sat near the windows (more exposure to natural lighting throughout the day) had better sleep quality than those that didn't which had ripple on health effects, emotional wellbeing & etc.
One thing that I try to schedule in once a month is taking a hike of some sort, or extended peroid outdoors in natural. Recharges and refuels the emotional battery quite well (if that makes sense)!
Jenny Wu
Thanks so much Kevin! I can totally see how natural lighting can impact our health and emotional wellbeing, I think one study I read was that suicide rates increase in the wintertime for Scandinavian countries due to the lack of daylight during the season.
I've also found spending time outdoors can do wonders for our energy level. While I'm not a fan of hiking (too intense for me..haha), I do love strolling in parks and just enjoying the fresh air!
Rowena @ rolala loves
Being able to achieve that perfect balance seems like it can pretty elusive at times but I agree that it's up to us to be able to "add that sugar" back. Unplugging always does a world of good for me personally and since I've been making a point to do it regularly, it definitely cuts back on my stress since it frees up my time. Social media can be such a time suck. And yes to practicing gratitude. It somehow always manages to puts things in to a clearer focus and perspective doesn't it :) Terrific post Jenny! Thanks!
Jenny Wu
Aww thank you for reading Rowena!! It's crazy how time and soul-sucking social media can be and I think it's something that can especially burn us bloggers out. I definitely feel happier once I've started to cut back my time on there.
Velvet Blush
I definitely agree with this post! I think it's so easy to get burn out when you're constantly working away. I find having some days out or doing an activity really helps, or even a pamper session or sitting down with a good book. PS I love how you organised your space xx
Velvet Blush
Jenny Wu
Thanks so much lovely! Yes to pamper sessions and just taking time off to relax and reset ourselves. It's all about finding a good balance :)
LindaLibraLoca
A ritual and a clean and tidy space (which is a challenge to achieve with kids around) are what helps me to calm down when times get hectic. And a goal, not always a spiritual one to keep focus.
Linda, Libra, Loca: Beauty, Baby and Backpacking
Jenny Wu
Oh yes, having a goal helps too! Otherwise I get easily distracted by other things.
Nailderella
Thanks for this post and driving attention to this! It's awesome how organizing and cleaning your space can make a difference on how you feel!
Jenny Wu
Thanks so much for reading! And yes, I always feel so refreshed after organizing my home!
Camilla
What a timely post! I've definitely been feeling a bit frazzled and spread thin lately. Thanks for the encouragement. I love how organized your shelf is! I need to do some decluttering, that'll make me feel better!
Jenny Wu
Aww I hope you feel better soon Camilla! Decluttering always refreshes me, and it's a great reminder to not be reckless with my purchases!
Sabiha
These are wonderful tips. I need to unplug from social media a bit more every now and then but my excuse is it's business...well most of the time!
www.franklyflawless.com
Jenny Wu
Thank you Sabiha! Ah yes, it's tough if your business is heavily reliant on social media, which I guess as bloggers that's the case for a lot of us. I think as long as you're not stressed out by it that's the important thing :)
Stephanie
What a great post Jenny - this is so lovely! I think this is a truly relevant post - I get so burnt out from work, social media and so on. I'm all about practicing gratitude every night and morning - it helps me prepare for the day.
Stephanie | theFantasia.com
Jenny Wu
Thanks so much for the kind comment Stephanie! It's really amazing how practicing can change our perspective on things!
Talina
I love this post - so many great tips and I'll definitely be using them! xo
http://sassyanddangerous.blogspot.com/
Jenny Wu
Thanks so much for reading Talina!
Sam
Lovely post! I always find myself mid month reorganising my apartment and changing little bits and pieces to change the vibe and have never really been much of a social media person so can distance myself very easily from it. Though, the best way for me to restore and rejuvenate my mind and body is to put on a good tv show, pour myself a glass of wine and take a long hot bath, I feel like a completely new person after that! x
Sam Hodgett || Beauty, Food & Lifestyle
Jenny Wu
Thanks so much Sam! Ahh your ritual sounds amazing!! I would totally take more baths but I get so lazy with trying to clean the tub, lol. One of these days I should treat myself again though! :P
Lora
What a nice post. I definitely lack motivation more often than I should, I notice this happens when I get lazy and stop being productive. So my joy in everyday life is to try and do a little something productive every day. Overtime I pick up steam and feel better and better and work more and more... until I get lazy again :(
Jenny Wu
Thanks so much for reading Lora! That's a great tip too, to take smaller steps and celebrate each of our accomplishments, no matter how big or small :)
Shireen L. Platt
I'm going to sound like a complete bitch for saying this but I am feeling you about the negative nancies because I'm trying to distance myself from one now. We were great friends but it has been so emotionally and mentally draining to hangout with her recently. Always complaining about about everything, it almost felt like because she has two kids, she has the right to complain about everything and anything. There are a lot of people who have more than one kid but she makes it seems like the end of the world and I'm starting to avoid meeting up. I hate doing this but I felt so emotionally drained after 20 minutes.
I have been unplugging more from social medias too, I still post on IG once a day or so but other than that I have been spending way more time with Little Tyke which is so rewarding!
Jenny Wu
What, you're one of the nicest people I know, so definitely don't feel bad for distancing yourself from negative people! I wonder if there's something bothering your friend on a deeper level though, and it's manifesting itself as frivolous complaints? Either way, I don't think it's fair for her to unload all her negativity on you all the time :( I hope she resolves whatever is bothering her soon.
Yes for spending more time with our loved ones! I love a lot of the people on IG but sometimes the environment can just feel so stressful! Have a great rest of the week Shireen!
Esnath
Oh my Golly Jenny this post came at the right time for me. I did unplug from
Social media I had to or I was going to loose my sanity. Having a ritual is key to almost everything I do. And making sure my space is the best it can be so I can feel free and joyful with my environment is such great advice.
Wonderful post Jenny thanks for sharing.
X
Jenny Wu
So glad you enjoyed the post Esnath! I've noticed that a lot of people (including you!) aren't as active on IG anymore and I can totally understand why. Our emotional wellbeing and mental health is so much more important and should be our first priority!
Noelle
Hey! Love this post! The tip to elevate your favorite past times that was such a great idea! I haven't heard that before. The power of prayer is so beautiful and can definitely help when you're feeling down! I also LOVE that Cooper made the post! Kitty love! Ok, so in short love the post! lol! :)
-Noelle
Elle-no.com
Jenny Wu
Aww thank you so much Noelle, so glad to hear that you enjoyed the post! Cooper is such a big part of my life and he loves the camera, so I figured why not! :P
Chanel
These tips are so helpful I've felt burnt out lately but I bought a new candle and that's how I'm sprucing up my space for now ^___^
x,
Chanel | Je M'appelle Chanel
Jenny Wu
Ah I love candles too, having the right scent can really elevate the environment and my mood! Thanks for reading Chanel!
Maryam
What a lovely post. Thank you for sharing with us. I must say I totally love the part you talked about gratitude.
xx,Maryam
www.glamandposh.com
Jenny Wu
Aww thank you so much Maryam! Glad you liked the post!
Naya
Such a sweet post Jenny! I feel like sharing it with everyone around me, so well put. Glad that Cooper is doing better, look at that cute little face. Also, you room girl! Can I move in haha?
Naya // www.partyparrotblog.com
Jenny Wu
Thanks so much for the kind comment Naya, really appreciate it! And yes, Cooper making a full recovery is something I'm so grateful for everyday :D If only there was more room in my office I'd totally put a day bed in there and make it a guest room!
A Very Sweet Blog
Loved this post! I had to clear out many negative nancies in my life. There were more than what I thought and I feel so much better. I keep a clean and organized home. It makes a world of difference in the way you feel. These are some excellent suggestions. Just followed you on bloglovin. Loving your blog.
http://www.averysweetblog.com/
Jenny Wu
Aww thank you so much hun, really appreciate it! Yes, it's amazing how much better we feel when we remove the negative energy around us! :D
Yanrula
Just realised I don't have any ritual while I was reading your post. Despite how much I'm into skincare, I sometimes still skip my routine because I'm lazy :'D I should really find something to fill the hole!
Jenny Wu
Haha, it's ok, a ritual isn't a must have, though I find them nice to help me unwind, and they can really be anything you love doing :P
Merel
Thanks for sharing these tips! Loved reading this article!
X Merel
www.andathousandwords.com
Jenny Wu
So glad you enjoyed the post Merel, thanks for reading!
Alyssa
These are really great tips! I do often feel burn out and unplugging from social media and distancing from negativity really helps :) One way I effectively do that is going on a trip.
xx Alyssa // STYLE VANITY
Jenny Wu
Thank you Alyssa! I agree that traveling can be very relaxing as well, it's nice to just get away to take for a while :)
Kim
All your tips are entirely on point! I have slowly been drifting from the negative nancies in my life and I try my best not to look them up on social media either, because it changes my mood for the worse. My good friend gifted me a gratitude book! Time to whip that out and start putting pen to paper! :) Thanks for such a positive post!
Kim
Simply Lovebirds
Jenny Wu
Thank you so much Kim! :D I totally get how you feel, and it's why I deactivated my personal Facebook account, though Instagram is just as distracting nowadays. A gratitude book sounds wonderful, especially for reflecting back on when you're feeling down!
Tara
These are some great ways to try and live a better life :)
I agree that having natural lights help, but it also depends! For me, if I'm at work, I want the natural light, but when I am home, in my room reading on my Kindle, I'd rather it be dark LOL
Ditto about being around people who will support you. We all need to vent, though, so it's also good to have friends like that, as long as we don't overdo it. My problem with social media is that sometimes I don't mind that endless surfing through my feeds, but I need to better myself about that since I find that I waste time just by doing that! And you're right that the number shouldn't matter. I've stopped caring about that, really, and now I'm more about the content and the people who matter.
And yes to the gratitude! I try to be thankful about what I have and such, and I try to always remember that I live a good life. :D Thanks for writing this!
Jenny Wu
Thank you for reading Tara! :) I think the only time I prefer darkness is when trying to sleep, haha, but I can see why some people prefer it to be dark in certain situations. It's easy to to get distracted while browsing social media, especially Pinterest, so I'm trying to be more mindful of how much time I spend on there as well. And yes, I think if we all really think about it, we really do live a great life compared to so many people in this world!
Kiri
This came at a really great time for me. I am so glad I found your blog.
I have really hurt my neck and I am just over a week away from a long overdue holiday - but I am wondering if I am going to make it. Yes - I am burned out.
Funny the first tip - spruce up your space.... Even though my neck hurts, I tidied my study desk yesterday ahead of working today and I feel a little bit better.
Really there is no time for me to take out at the moment - I have taken on too much lately!
Thanks so much for your post.
Kiri
Set to Glow
http://www.settoglow.com.au
Jenny Wu
Thank you for the kind comment Kiri, and I'm sorry about what happened to your neck, I hope you're feeling better now! It sounds like you could definitely use some time to just relax and unwind, hang in there girl!
Liv
Mmm I hope writing this post makes you feel filled if you were drained before! :) I agree especially with the first one. I found that after moving out of my dingy / gross apartment in New York to a sunnier brighter room in San Francisco, I've felt a lot more energetic mentally. My furniture here is all white thankfully!
I think right now my daily ritual is giving my hamster Peanut a walk every evening, no matter what I'm doing. Get up and letting him climb into my hand is super therapeutic because he's so squishy and innocent! :P
And as a fellow Christian, I definitely agree that spirituality transforms lives and is also a personal decision! I think even many Christians can "get by" without believing in God but He surprises us in just how He changes life unexpectedly. I don't personally think I was lost per say before becoming a Christian, more like genuinely unhappy, and I felt more lost after becoming one but before learning how to pray and have faith. It's what balances me every day. :)
Jenny Wu
Lol, I actually don't think I felt better from writing this post, but I always do when I do one of the things in this post! :P That's so cute that you give your hamster a walk!! Pets are truly therapeutic, and so far there hasn't been anything a cuddle from Cooper (Shelly doesn't do cuddles) couldn't relieve.
Totally agree with you about how God isn't part of a lot of Christians's daily lives today, and I've definitely gone through those phases and there's a huge difference in my emotional wellbeing when I'm detached from God versus when I put Him first!
Patricia
Great post dear!!
A sunny side always help, especially during the hardest days :)
Wish you a lovely weekend
xx
https://naturallyfreesoul.com/
Jenny Wu
Thank you so much Patricia, so glad you liked the post!
Cat L.
Jenny this has to be one of my favorite posts I've read in a while. I found myself nodding in agreement as I was going thru the points you raised. All points very important and very helpful! Thank you for sharing!
~ Cat L.
Jenny Wu
Thank you so much for the sweet comment Cat, so glad to hear you enjoyed the post! Hope you have a great weekend and stay safe!
Lorna
LOVE these tips! They're all ones I follow too! Cutting the negativity out of my life, learning to be grateful for everything, as well as present. They're all amazing ways to live!
Raindrops of Sapphire
Jenny Wu
Thank you Lorna! It's amazing how these small actions can have such a big impact on our emotional and mental wellbeing!